The Office, Episodes 9.24-25: "Finale"

Even Greg Daniels can admit that everyone involved in The Office's final season might've gotten a bit too cocky. Did you know that the documentary was originally supposed to air in the seventeenth episode? That sure didn't happen! Trying to create a season-long story arc without having any idea how to actually structure that season? Yeah, that's the definition of cocky! The important thing, of course, is that they realized it, and they at least managed to steer things toward a satisfying conclusion. A very satisfying conclusion. This is pretty much a master class on writing a finale for a series that has gone seriously off the rails, without selling any of it out. Not even Andy plowing or possibly being plowed by Carla Fern. (Flag on the play!)

The Office has been on quite a long journey over the last nine years. (Obviously, since most nine-year journeys are rather long by default!) From its famously cringeworthy beginnings, to that middle part where it still did cringe comedy once in awhile but inconsistently enough that it just felt odd when it did, to season eight which was cringeworthy in the sense that it was terrible. And now we have season nine, the final season, and it's rather fitting that it's been an odd mixture of all three. Some truly stupid shit has happened to some of these characters this season, but the finale manages to mostly give them closure that....mostly makes sense. And now, I say my final goodbye to a show that has been, if nothing else, comforting to me over the last eight years, by examining the journeys that these characters have made over the last....ten years, I guess? (They're making this harder to keep track of than they probably needed to.)

Andy started out as a cut-your-throat-to-get-ahead kinda guy with an anger management problem. He took his shitty paper company job about as seriously as he does his alma mater, Cornell. Ever heard of it?

And now? Well, Andy's been a LOT of things. Sympathetic romantic lead. Extremely unpleasant horny person. Possibly talented singer. In the end, Cornell proved to be one of the few constants in his pathetic trust fund life, so it's fitting that he's now has his "dream job" there. ("Fame of any kind" was his previous "dream", but the horrors of Internet fame, the very worst kind of fame of all, surely rearranged his fantasy priorities.) Andy is one of the biggest beneficiaries of The Greg Daniels Finale Experience - he'd been pretty thoroughly ruined by the writers by this point, with seemingly little chance of being redeemed. And, don't get me wrong, nothing about the ending they give Andy makes the last several seasons of his character forgivable. But here, in this one episode? He's genuinely - *gasp* - ALMOST LIKEABLE.

Carla Fern started out as a character played by Roseanne, who was supposed to appear in a three-episode arc.

And now? She was only in two episodes, thank fuck. I wonder what happened, though? Could it be that Roseanne ended up being a big, temperamental personality who was notoriously difficult to work with? Hahaha, these allegations are patently absurd and you have no proof!

Erin started out as the new receptionist, because clearly they needed SOMEONE to answer phones while Pam was away. As a substitution for Pam's established character depth, Erin brings a hearty helping of adorable naivete to the table. Er, desk.

And now? After finally leaving behind that creeper Gabe, she was finally free to be with Andy, the man she loved. Until she realized that he's also a dick and stopped loving him too. So, now I guess she's still with Pete? I figure he has about one more year before she gets sick of him too, so he'd better tap that as much as he can while he still can. More important, though, is the fact that her birth parents saw the documentary and took this opportunity to force her to love them, in public, in front of an audience, because you can't not love your parents when there's an audience! It's the law! Okay, so this is one of the less believable endings presented in the finale, but it's still heartwarming, I give it that. Ellie Kemper is cute as fuck, and so is Erin by extension, and I'm just happy to see her happy.

Pete started out as the "New Jim", so dubbed solely because he's also awkward and gawky and stuck with a GROSS NERD as his deskmate. In reality, though, he's just some bland dude. A nice bland dude, but definitely a bland dude. Blaaaaand.

And now? Well, not much has changed. He's been here for a season, and pretty much stopped participating in storylines altogether the moment Erin left Andy for him. I guess they're still together, and they still seem happy, and.....they might last another year, like I said. You could do worse, right? And all his friends call him Plop now, which presumably amuses them enough to sometimes momentarily forget that, seriously, he ended up being SUCH A BLAND DUDE.

Clark started out as "Dwight Jr.", that is, if Dwight was a city boy instead of a Nazi-Amish country boy, and grew up channeling all his energy into furious masturbation (just a guess) rather than good old-fashioned manual beet labor.

And now? It doesn't appear that much of anything has changed over the last year, really. I think he's still a junior salesman back in the annex. He was barely even in the finale, which is a bit of the shame. He is, by far, the best character introduced since season five. (Sorry, Deangelo Vickers.)

Nellie started out as David Brent, if David Brent had a vagina, and was not compelling in any way. And fucked magicians. And kept getting written into the show in ways that make increasingly less sense.

And now? Season nine made her likeable, at least! She was ever anything more than a minor character, which seems to be how she's best used. When she actually spoke up, she was a pleasant enough presence. I liked the way her attempts to make amends with Andy went right out the window around the point she realized that he'd surely be out of his job soon at this rate, replaced with sadistic British torment. So, it's too bad that she gets the most hackneyed resolution in the finale, one of the very few low points: she literally has a baby handed directly to her. Remember that episode where she wanted to be a mom? Here, Nellie, help yourself to a baby! You wanted one, and so you are legally entitled to take one! Seriously, guys, am I the only one who's a little bothered by Nellie kidnapping a little tiny baby person? Sorry, bovvered? But speaking of that baby....

Ryan started out as someone for Michael to explain things to, for when they didn't want to just have him explain it directly to the cameras, for whatever reason.

And Kelly started out as the office chatterbox, vain, materialistic, aggressively girly....all apparently the result of some sort of degenerative brain disorder, judging by the old Kelly in Diversity Day.

And now? SERIOUSLY THEY CAN BOTH JUST DIE IN A FIRE OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT THE HELL.

Toby started out as the "voice of reason" from H.R., and therefore Michael's eternal archenemy, even though he's really too ineffectual to ever actually do anything.

And now? He's been relieved of his job, in some manner that isn't adequately explained to us. Let's just assume he's relaying an order from corporate as the result of some sort of harassment involving Nellie. Eh. I'd buy it. Whatever the case, he's apparently borderline suicidal now. Honestly, I'm surprised it took this much to get him here. You'd think the shame of season eight would've been more than enough.

Darryl started out as the show's main representation of the blue-collar world of the warehouse: snarky, world-weary, but ultimately mostly cuddly. Also, Michael's main reference point for black culture. Fluffy fingers, go!

And now? Well, so much for the blue-collar bit. By talking to Jim at exactly the right time, he pretty much lucked himself into a REALLY cushy job, gallivanting around with the rich and famous. Ah, the humble rewards of a down-to-earth blue-collar life! And there was also something with Val, but I never cared, and I still don't care. I like Craig Robinson and all, but Darryl lost a lot of charm when he stopped being a foil for Michael. Good on him for moving to Austin, though. Austin's rad. ^_^

Stanley started out as the "office grump", as Phyllis so delicately puts it, with little love for anything outside of his crossword puzzles and his "mystery stories".

And now? He's retired and free to live out the rest of his existence as Florida Stanley in the equally creatively named Florida City, which doesn't appear to be the ACTUAL Florida City at all. (No wonder Mayor Otis T. Wallace hasn't been even remotely as welcoming as Austin's Lee Leffingwell.) Away from the horrors of the American workforce and traditional monogamous married life, he's free to spend his days lounging around on his porch and whittling wooden birds and the occasional bird-legged Phyllis. Presumably he still finds the time to tap some hot Florida City ass, though. Either way, it's always strangely delightful to see Stanley genuinely pleased about something!

Phyllis started out as a woman whose sweet, motherly exterior serves to mostly distract people from how surprisingly vindictive she's capable of being when you get on her bad side. Also, kind of a slut.

And now? Things seem more or less the same. It seems her gross, sexy relationship with Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration is as strong as ever, and she's still plugging away at the paper sales job we rarely actually see her do. The one difference is that she has a different, skinnier black deskmate now.....but she's working on it. Nothing a truckload of fudge can't fix! It gets my vote for the best joke of the night, but then again, I'm demented.

Meredith started out as someone who was painfully dull until the writers realized she was a trashy alcoholic single mother with no dignity, but also, no shortage of pride, in her massive shortage of dignity.

And now? Apparently she was studying psychology throughout most of the series, something the doc crew's one-sided portrayal of her clearly ignored, because they just relentlessly focused on the trashy things. Because it's....hard not to. Speaking of which, her son's a stripper now. Same actor and everything. How fucked up is THAT? You too can be a badass if you tattoo an upside-down cross on your face in washable marker!

Creed started out as the increasingly odd old guy who just happened to have been in the Grass Roots, back in the day. Also, Devon's archenemy, I guess.

And now? In perhaps the most bittersweet ending of the night, he's thrown in the big house for numerous offenses, both animal and narcotic. And yet, this might be the most sympathetic and interesting he's ever been. His final talking head, about the way humans can make anywhere into a home if they try hard enough, was genuinely nice even though it was an excuse for bathing himself in the office restroom.....sinks, I'm hoping. Also, how can your cold, mechanical heart not be warmed by the fact that he saved his Office Olympics medal? "Do you even have a mattress?" "No, but I have the medal from that." Plus, he gets to do music things! Definitely a good episode for Creed fans.

Devon started out as someone who only existed to get fired, pretty much. I mean, they couldn't have Michael fire someone in Halloween that we might've known and therefore possibly loved, right? So.....fuck you, guy we never met before.

And now? Well, how fitting is it that the one who got him fired, Creed, is now the dude he's replacing? It's the circle of....maybe not life, but something like that. I like to think he sat around for the last seven years, doing literally nothing, until finally he was summoned once more. Hopefully he showered before coming in, at least.

Kevin started out as a really, really dull guy with a really, really lowbrow sense of humor. However, you might be surprised to learn that he was in the World Series of Poker, and that he's actually a borderline competent drummer.

And now? Wasn't there a season eight episode where we learned that he doesn't even know the fucking ALPHABET? Yeah, he pretty much became too dumb to live. Aside from the fact that he's still borderline competent at drumming, which is even more surprising now. For the finale, he at least gets treated like a dumb adult rather than a dumb child, by getting fired. (By the way, Imma join the chorus of people asking how they filmed that when the doc crew were supposedly away for an entire year. What the fuck?) On the bright side, he's found a new profession more suited to his Kevin-ness, and at least he's self-aware enough to question the documentary's portrayal of him. "If you film anybody long enough, they're going to do something stupid. It's only human natural."

Oscar started out as a bland, smug, closeted Mexican homosexual who seemed to exist mainly to be the accountants' voice of reason.

And now? The (State) Senator storyline was so stupid conceptually, and so stupid for SO LONG. BUT. Oscar reaching out to help Angela, like a person who isn't heartless, was actually a really nice way to close out their tale. It was almost worth it to see their characters really get to interact. Almost. Now that all has been forgiven and godfathered in as necessary, he seems to be campaigning, presumably against his former lover, to represent the 22nd Senatorial District in the Pennsylvania State Senate. But that's boring and I doubt I'll remember it after having not seen this episode for awhile. His failed attempt to fit in as One of the Guys at Dwight's bachelor party makes a far bigger impact. Better hope this doesn't get out, Oscar, or else you'll lose the all-important people-who-vote-based-on-which-candidate-they'd-rather-have-a-beer-with vote!

Angela started out as the sort of person who would begin sentences by saying "I don't mean to be a bitch, but". Her three passions in life? Her many cats, her Lord Jesus Christ, and her Dwight's penis, for making lovemaking.

And now? By the end of season eight, Paul Lieberstein imagined that he had finally managed to split Dwangela up forever, thus freeing Dwight to star in The Farm, where he was free to fuck bland Amish girls instead. Except, The Farm didn't get picked up, so now those crazy kids are back together, for good. One of the more consistently compelling things about the final season was watching Angela, like Dwight, grow up a bit. The pain of her - ugh - (State) Senator husband's gay affair and the dissolution of her marriage, leading straight into a grueling three weeks of single motherhood, yields an end result of a somewhat less uptight Angela. Still a total bitch, but......less in an uptight way. I mean, they've had to bleep her at least once in each of the last three episodes, and I'm still convinced she said "cunt" one of those times. Total bitch, but clearly less unwilling to engage with the profane.

Dwight started out as the office sycophant, the Assistant to the Regional Manager who'd really like to ditch the "to the", and would love even more to eventually ditch the "Assistant" as well. Despite having a fairly successful beet farm to fall back on, he still opts to come into work every day and endure comical abuse from his deskmate.

And now? Like Angela, even though he's had a generally uneven season storyline, the more confident, level-headed Dwight that has emerged in these last episodes has been nothing short of heartwarming to see. Considering his former contempt for his co-workers, I think his final talking head summarizes it best: "My supplier relations rep, Meredith Palmer, is the only person I know who knows how to properly headbang to Motorhead. Oscar Martinez, my accountant, is now godfather to my son. Angela Schrute, my former accountant, is now my wife. My top salesman, Jim, was best man at my wedding. And my office administrator, Pamela Beesly-Halpert, is my best friend. So, yes, I'd say I have gotten along with my subordinates."

Pam started out as the much put-upon receptionist who mostly kept to herself, outside of her engagement to a piece of warehouse shit named Roy.....and her frequent workplace flirtations with Jim.

And now? Starting way back in the third season, it started to become apparent that Pam's series-long story arc was about gaining a little self-confidence, something some fans seem to hate because women who have the nerve to speak up are bitches, apparently. Seriously, internet people, sometimes you're just THE WORST. I was actually pleased to see Pam showing a backbone, which is why it was disappointing to see that gradually wheeled back. Like when she dropped out of art school in season five. And then stopped having ambitions, of any sort. Certainly not ambitions to eventually move to a major art city, like Philadelphia! Oh, Pam. So, I'm glad she got a chance to take a more reasonable look at her life here, after having a year to meditate on it. Letting the documentary lead her to realize she always hesitated too much before taking a chance on anything was a believable character turn, and it's fitting that she gets to spring something on Jim in a big, grand gesture-without-asking-permission-first for once in the progress. Thus we can be assured that they can be reckless and impulsive in harmony now so what could go wrong? It's interesting that she mentions her hope that any girls who see the documentary are inspired to not repeat her mistakes, because I finally got my girlfriend to start watching the show from the beginning, and that's pretty much been her response. Thank you, Tails, for being strong, trusting yourself, conquering your fears, and just going after what you want. :)

Jim started out as the lovable slacker, more content to torment his deskmate and harbor a hopeless crush on the receptionist than, y'know, work. Despite that, he ultimately had a knack for sales, and it seemed like he might be good enough to remain trapped in this dead-end paper sales job forever.

And now? He can be trapped in a dead-end sports marketing job instead! When I step back and look at everything that happened concerning Athlead this season, it really doesn't make all that much sense. Even less than it did when I was looking at it up close. Clearly, it's a storyline that didn't end up holding together quite like the writers had hoped, but I can still take solace in the highlights. And this most definitely is a highlight! It manages to wrap a neat little bow on this story, in a way that feels good, even if it still doesn't make all that much sense when you step back and look at it. The fact that we have Best Man Jim and his gutenpranks three certainly helps it feel good. Amazing, actually. Warm and fuzzy and delightful. Just the perfect way for Jim to be able to say goodbye, even if he didn't know he was at the time. Now, I'm not entirely sure why Athleap, as it's known now, would even want him back after he quit when they were totally counting in him. But why not? I'm willing enough to believe that, like, Pam could get Darryl's help to make it happen or something. Whatever. I'm just so surprised and thrilled that they're moving to Austin! How surprising and kinda out of nowhere but ultimately just plain cool! ^_^

Michael started out as a fantastic salesman given at least one too many promotions, the loneliness of the manager's chair just making him even more desperate to be liked by everyone. Unfortunately, his attempts to entertain and enlighten wound up offending with their obliviousness more often than not.

And now? In the weeks leading up to the finale, there was much speculation as to whether Steve Carell would return - mostly because pretty much every interviewer everywhere asked the same cookie-cutter questions and was fed the same cookie-cutter response. It seemed pretty clear to me early on that he was going to show up after all, and that was all just a bad publicity stunt. The reasons they gave that he might not appear ended up being totally true, though. It just.....wasn't until he actually showed up that I could understand why. In only two lines of dialogue total - three if you count the brilliant "family line" that Pam gets to relay - we learn a LOT about how he's doing now. He's actually happy, now that he's fulfilled his dreams of finding love and starting a family, and that seems to make all the difference. Does he still have a bad sense of humor? Yes, it's still awful. Does he still mangle his metaphors in inappropriate ways? Of course he does. Without the desperation he used to have, though, the context seems entirely different. He's not a sad, pathetic man anymore. Just a rather simple man. And is that really such a bad thing?

Bill Hader and Seth Meyers started out as two of the castmembers of NBC's Saturday Night Live, circa 2013. Due to the fact that they were on one series on NBC, it was probably pretty easy to get them to appear on other shows on NBC, because NBC likes reminding you what's on NBC.

And now? I think they both left SNL. I'm not sure what finally drove them to leave, but the indignity of that embarrassing Baby Wawa sketch could very well have been a factor. Even Andy Bernard can barely stand having to be Andy Bernard! Only a fool would do so by choice!