Saturday, July 20, 2013

New Whose Line! Episode 1: Rise from Your Low-Rated Grave!

Featuring Wayne Brady, Gary Anthony Williams, Colin Mochrie, and Ryan Stiles!
Plus Special Star Guest Lauren Cohan, from National Lampoon’s Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj!

a review/wall of snark by Jess (in green) and Tails (in red)


Let’s Masticate a Date: Gary is the taco-munching bachelorette. Wayne is a shock jock on-air with his posse. Colin is a love robot who is recharged by kissing people. Ryan is Colin’s bickering parents who are trying to teach him the facts of life.
  • Even in its latest incarnation, Whose Line is still producing completely organic and not at all contrived excuses to make men kiss each other! I’ll bet you probably didn’t even realize that’s what they were doing here, because this one’s particularly subtle.
  • You know Whose Line is back when Colin’s kissed Ryan and Wayne within the first four minutes. Just the look on their faces lets you know this is a matter of course for them now. One can only hope “Ryan’s Lip Lube” is eventually available to the general public, presumably after the giraffe-testing controversy dies down.
  • Do you think Gary felt disappointed at all that he wasn’t included? I’d like to think he had to cry himself to sleep that night, unable to cope with the despair of never getting a chance to taste Colin’s old, dry Canadian lips...
  • Gary drowned his sorrows in gravy, no doubt.
  • Ryan Stiles’ incredibly sensitive take on alternative lifestyles: “It’s not right to kiss other men. That’s what women are for!” (SO COME KISS YOUR MOMMY INSTEAD COLIN)
  • I think it was a good move to start the episode off on a familiar game, especially one that we haven’t seen for a while! We didn’t have a lot of laughs but we had our guy-on-guy action, and isn’t that what Whose Line is all about? Personally, I’d like to see one where the kissing quirk isn’t Colin’s and goes to someone else, maybe even the fourth-seater. I’d wanna see who he/she goes for first.
  • Yeah, this was a pretty standard and none-too-original LMAD setup, but nostalgia isn’t all bad. And at least they’ve scaled the quirks back from the elaborate character biographies they used in the last batch of Whose Line tapings. In fact, Gary’s guesses are far longer than the quirks themselves! Admittedly, I would like to see a performer - doesn’t necessarily have to be Ryan - try to portray one person with multiple personalities as well as a distinct second person who does not, and have it be perfectly clear who’s who.


The Walking Dub: Ryan and Extremely Special Star Guest Lauren Cohan are young lovers/zombie apocalypse survivors taking shelter in an abandoned nightclub, where they meet Lauren’s ex-boyfriend Wayne, a bartender who himself is slowly turning into a zombie. Colin provides Lauren’s voice (but she’s still free to do any kicking herself).
  • When Ryan says he’s gonna grab his bow-and-arrow, I wonder if he didn’t actually mean a crossbow, which would perhaps be slightly more useful against zombies. These are the kinds of brainless mistakes that will ensure he’s one of the first to die/undie when the Totally Real Zombie Apocalypse comes! (As a White Mage, I’ll be just fine.)
  • Lauren has obviously been so traumatized by her daily run-ins with zombies that her physical instincts kick in! It’s more of a “yo, personal space” foot-shove than a kick, though. C’mon, that’s even less dignified than Liu Kang’s whoopity-whooping bicycle kick.
  • She dresses like the oldest daughter from an early 90s Miller-Boyett sitcom, and she shatters ribcages about like one too!
  • It was strange to see Colin doing the voice for this game instead of Wayne, but this actually made me happy to see that they’re letting the roles be switched up. I’ve often wanting to see more of the performers in other settings to see how they do, like when Colin hosted exactly one game of Party Quirks on the US version.
  • The more I hear jokes about how these guys are old people who will be dead people someday, like Colin’s, the more aware I become that someday they actually will be dead people, and those jokes will suddenly be incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. And they’d be about a thousand times more awkward still if it’s all caused by Ryan finally snapping and taking everyone else out, as he occasionally looks like he’s ready to. Enjoy the morbid, depressing dead person jokes while you can, is what I’m saying.


What’s in the Baggie in the Bag?: Wayne is a crime victim who has been knocked out and is just now regaining consciousness, as purse-toting police detectives Ryan and Colin look him over and examine the crime scene. Tonight’s purses, courtesy of audience members Katrina and Sherry, contain such exciting things as beverages, shoes, glasses (regular and sun), dental floss, and all the powerful black market narcotics you could ever want.
  • “No pulling out a ham sandwich from your pocket.” Take that, Archie Hahn! (It’s doubly funny, because I imagine Archie Hahn primarily subsists on dry enriched-white-bread-and-pressed-ham-product sandwiches. And self-loathing.)
  • Ryan giving Wayne several things to drink made me think he was gonna give him really stale coffee or smuggled-in booze. You couldn’t even pretend it was something interesting? Comedic opportunity wasted!
  • “I’m a Part-Time Woman” sounds like a great title for a country song, though we’ll have to wait till the rednecks of America get a little more comfortable with the concept of crossdressing first. Seeing how undeniably stylish Ryan and Colin are with their purses can’t hurt, can it?
  • Ryan has obviously missed his calling as a magician - look at how he managed to conjure up that shoe! All he needs is hot coffee poured on his hand and he’s ready for Vegas, baby.
  • Laugh all you want at the idea of pigeon witnesses, but I think that was actually a plot element in Mr. Monk Goes Home Again. Well, I guess that pigeon was more a piece of evidence or a victim than a witness per se, but close enough. The point is, pigeons are endlessly useful to the astute investigator, so why not reward them with drugs?
  • This was an interesting new game, but I honestly wonder if it was entirely thought through. I certainly hope the women were allowed to refuse having their bags brought up, though I think they did ask for volunteers. At first glance, it looked like the pills scattered on the floor by Ryan were actually ibuprofen, so they should probably be grateful nobody pulled out tampons!
  • Don’t be silly, Tails. I’m sure they wouldn’t allow dangerous weaponry in the studio! My favorite thing about this game concept is that it’s a completely unique take on the idea of audience suggestions. I like it, even if it amounts to little more than Ryan and Colin digging through ladies’ personal possessions and pulling out things and nervously asking, “Is this funny? Anybody? No? Well, um, what about this?”


Senselessly Segregated (and Sexual) Scenes from a Hat: Gary and Wayne are forced to stand by Aisha on the left side of the stage while Ryan and Colin get the right side all to themselves, as the performers collectively act out: “Things you can say about your lunch, but not your girlfriend”, “Things you don’t want to hear just before moving in for a kiss”, and “Unlikely lines (read: group poses) from hair commercials.”
  • How great is Colin’s moderately ashamed look to the audience after the doesn’t-spread-like-it-used-to joke? “Enjoy your reprehensible filth, assholes!”
  • Somehow Gary manages to make every joke, even the sexual jokes, about the fact that he’s fat. Achievement unlocked?
  • “Hey look, two weenies!” Thank you, Gary, I appreciate the implication that a one-weenied girlfriend would be a perfectly acceptable thing. This is exactly the sort of progressive social outlook you’d expect from a Blue Collar TV alum.
  • I’m noticing that they finally seem to be allowed to get away with more in the sexual jokes, which is refreshing after the constant censorship of the old version. The suggestions did seem a bit plotted, but knowing this audience, they probably had a ton of those thought up. Something I’d like to see happen in the future is something that the old Whose Line tried to do for a while - switch out the hats! So much opportunity!
  • In later episodes, I recall Drew explaining that the Aggressively Patriotic Hat had been supplemented with “some of our own” scenes, but here Aisha seemingly implies that the Subtly Colored Hat contains only audience suggestions. Either the audience is savvy by this point, like you said, or she’s lying to everyone like a lying liar. Alternately, they just made Dan Patterson sit in the audience with the commoners while he wrote them down, so it’s technically not a lie. (Is he still directly involved in this? Probably not, but it’s more fun to imagine that he is.)


Night of the Living Scenery: Ryan and Colin are two thrillseekers at a luxury Aspen resort, about to try out a variety of extreme sports. Wayne and Rib-Shatteringly Special Star Guest Lauren Cohan exist only to be objectified.
  • TOBOGGANING IS THE MOST EXTREME MOTHERFUCKING SPORT IN THE WORLD BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOUR HANDS GET STUCK AND YOU HAVE TO BE PRETTY MOTHERFUCKING HARDCORE TO RISK THAT SHIT
  • It’s completely obvious that Wayne really missed playing grab-ass with Colin, as he does it right out of the gate. I’m no tinhatter, but I seriously think that Wayne’s got it bad for that Canuck. They’ve even got more or less the same haircut, and only couples do that, am I right? And Colin goes ahead and picks him when he could have the pretty lady! That tease.
  • While I didn’t care for this game - I never really like Living Scenery - I will say that I hope Colin and Wayne eventually confess their true feelings for each other, freeing themselves to express their love using the full spectrum of normal human sexual behavior, rather than continue to put adjustment dials on increasingly unlikely items. I mean, Wayne, if you think this is fun now, try experiencing a twistjob sans pants. You’ll never go back!


The Walking Dead-its: Colin and Nipple-Bruisingly Special Star Guest Lauren Cohan recite a list of people who have turned into zombies, as the others turn into zombies behind them, in what is surely a sly reference to the popular and long-running Resident Evil video game series.
  • Why doesn’t Colin have an Executive Producer credit yet? Ryan and Wayne have them! Aisha Tyler will probably get one if this manages to run for more than one or two seasons! Why not Colin? It’s because he’s Canadian, isn’t it?
  • I actually didn’t notice Ryan going off to fetch the rest of the audience to mob the stage, which led me to believe they came on their own and that’s sorta frightening. No wonder Colin gave such a girly, pants-to-be-darkened scream.
  • See? I TOLD you it would be extra-awkward if Ryan Stiles ended up being responsible for everyone’s death - and surely leading an army of audience-zombies counts! It’s going to be VERY difficult to rewatch that round of Dubbing ever again . . . . . .


So, what about Aisha Tyler? Was she any good?
  • I was pleasantly surprised to see how well she seemed to fit in! She’s bubbly, she has the air of knowing what she’s doing, and I was actually sorta disappointed they didn’t use her for any games, which I hope they do. She’s good at bantering with the performers and keeping it from becoming a sausagefest, though I will say she should probably tone down the “I’M HAVING SO MUCH FUN YOU GUYS” voice, since it comes off weird if she’s not careful. But I’m really liking her so far!
  • Despite my early pessimism, I too have to admit that she’s actually a pretty great fit for Whose Line. She’s a calmingly confident presence with the ability, unique among this show’s hosts, to diffuse situations where the guys start leaning maybe a little too misogynistic. Which is neat! For whatever reason, Drew always came across as the sort of guy who objectified women. To a degree. Y’know. With money. Don’t make me come right about and be libelous, guys!


And what of the new fourth-seater, Gary Anthony Williams?
  • He sorta strikes me as a one-trick pony, but it’s obvious he was having fun and that’s nice to see. He seems nice and he managed to give me some laughs, but I’d like him more if he didn’t make every joke about his obvious girth. Drew Carey he ain’t.
  • Were you aware? Gary Anthony Williams loves food so much that he can’t go more than a sentence or two without mentioning some sort of food item, in as stomach-churning a fashion as possible! On the bright side, he seems like a nice enough guy and he appears to have enjoyed himself, so he’d be welcome to return someday. Maybe staple that stomach first, though.


And the episode as a whole?
  • It wasn’t perfect and they have things they need to tweak, but it did my heart good to see the gang back together. I think they need to give more variety to the quirks and hat suggestions, and maybe try to figure out how to do the purse game without jeopardizing someone’s medication, but other than that this was a decent start and one that kept a lot of people watching through to the next show! And since ratings are kinda really important (please don’t let this die please PLEASE) I’d call it a success!
  • This episode’s downfall is that it all feels very familiar. Of course, that’s entirely intentional - it just makes sense to start off with an episode that says, “The Whose Line is it Anyway you remember is back, and comfortingly the same as ever!” And, I’ll admit, despite the tiringness of some of the let’s-make-guys-do-sex-things-together suggestions, it worked for me, for tonight. It just feels nice to see Whose Line back...


Final thoughts?
  • Seeing Whose Line back really made me realize just how much I missed it. The show itself had been off the air for 9 years and ABC Family stopped showing re-runs, and while my obsession has waned significantly from my adolescence, the show will always have a special place in my heart. It’s what shaped my sense of humor, it helped me through rough spots, and it led me to meet the best thing that’s ever happened to me, who also helped me write this. Y’know, the same stuff I spouted when I saw Whose Live. I’m glad to see it back.
  • It’s funny that Aisha should mention Twitter in Wayne’s intro, because seriously guys, have you read this dude’s tweets? He types like someone’s mom! It’s no wonder he’s the only improviser they actually bothered to dress somewhat appealingly tonight - he brings Whose Line the MILF-y sex appeal that it so desperately wants and needs.

2 comments:

  1. I’m always glad to see Whose Line fans who enjoy the show enough to review it! I hope you two have tons of fun working together on these reviews for a long time to come! *crosses fingers for good ratings*

    I think the reviews might flow a little better if you presented your thoughts about each game as a whole first followed by your random funny comments about it afterwards. For example, I liked the comment about how Colin being the voice for Dubbing was a significant change the show mad for some reason, and I think that might have been a great way to start talking about this game, followed by your other amusing points about it. I agree though, I also am interested in seeing more of the roles switched up in these games, although I’m not as thrilled about this change since I miss seeing Ryan and Colin directly interacting with each other, lol.

    (Also, a bow and arrow totally works to kill zombie-like monsters in ‘The Last of Us’ so I think Ryan will be just fine! :D )

    I also like how funny and snarky these reviews are, though I wish sometimes there was a bit more positivity about the games and the players in them. I understand that a lot of the games are very familiar to past ones played, but I think pointing out the positive aspects of each playing will help counter-balance with the less positive aspects. I mean, I know it’s old-hat for Colin to be forced to kiss the others, but this time Ryan seemed happy about it instead of stressed, and he even managed to impress and thrill the crowd with his handy-dandy chapstick! I think that above all deserves a positive mention! XD

    I’d also like to hear more of your opinions about the games and pairing combinations within, and how they compare to some of your past favorites! Snark is nice, but hearing more about your personal thoughts and feelings about the games would be even nicer! :)

    Overall, thanks for reviewing the show! I look forward to seeing more from you two! :D

    (P.S. Wayne/Colin? Nuh-uh, no love will ever be stronger than that of Colin/Ryan! Ever! XD)

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    1. Awwww, thank you for all the kind words! ^_^

      Whose Line, to me, is like someone I've been living with for the last fifteen years. Though we've been together long enough that many of his personality quirks get on my nerves, I still care about him a lot and I wouldn't give it up for anything. As long as they keep making new Whose Line episodes, I'll keep watching them, and I'll keep loving them.

      So, while most games on this show feel really familiar to me by this point, I still really enjoy the little things. I watch this show for things like Colin's glance to the camera after that one SFAH joke, or the banter after What's in the Bag, or absurdist concepts like pigeon witnesses. If something catches my attention enough to comment on, you can probably assume it's something I found funny for one reason or another, because my favorite thing is when this show makes me stop and think about how silly and weird it really is. And, yeah, I'll admit I probably sound like I'm being too hard on everyone, but I kid them because I love them and feel like I know them really well after fifteen years! It's silly, but that's how I feel. :)

      I think Taylor and I both liked the second episode even better (though MY GOODNESS IS IT FILTHY), so there'll be more positive commentary for that pretty much by default!

      As for ratings, I believe I read Whose Line scored the CW's highest ratings in its timeslot since sometime in 2009. I honestly didn't expect that, after nobody watched Improv-a-Ganza or Trust Us With Your Life, but now it looks like everybody was just holding out for the real thing. Very promising so far!

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